The usual “she can’t keep a man” rhetoric. Snooze.
That she “chooses” the wrong men.
That she’s a “ho” for being married three times. (???)
That she suffers from “pretty bitch” syndrome. (Comments like this one are coming from women, who are obviously less than bright, and dare I say, probably hate their own lives. SMH.)
Everything that was potentially wrong with Halle as a woman, partner and wife is up for discussion, yet…the flaws of her suitors aren’t being dissected and critiqued so heavily.
In all this, what I don’t see, are people praising her for seeing herself out of bad situations, or those that have gone awry. This woman is the MacGyver of relationships. I have repeatedly asked myself, why anyone of sound mind would encourage her to stay with any of the companions who were clearly detrimental to her esteem and harmful to her health and overall sanity?
David Justice exacted domestic violence against her.*
Eric Benét was an alleged sex addict who couldn’t stay faithful.
And Olivier loves conflict and arguing.
Halle eventually had to take a restraining order out against David Justice. It is rumored that he once beat her so badly he caused her to become deaf in her left ear. She was so broken from that relationship that she tried to commit suicide. If Halle hadn’t divorced him after years of reported abuse, she might be six feet under.
Her father used to beat her mother. In an interview, she once said, “I never had to run to a shelter, but I did choose the wrong partners. Not always good men. Luckily, in recent years, I have been smart enough to hit the door when violence even becomes a possibility. That is something I will not tolerate.”
Newsflash. You and I are the common denominator in all of our failed relationships, too. Most of us are just lucky enough not to have our shenanigans publicized.
Let’s keep it real. People fuck up and make mistakes. That’s life. How many people have YOU chosen who turned out NOT to be all you had dreamed up or ever imagined, so you left them because you knew you’d be better off without them?
This also broaches the topic of how folks are so gotdamn hypocritical. And it’s infuriating. If Halle had stayed with Justice, and been killed, there would be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth about how she should have left and endless questioning as to why she didn’t. If Halle had stayed with Eric, she could have some incurable STD. Now that she’s leaving Olivier, we can spare ourselves the sleepless nights over what might have been.
Society is throwing stones at this woman and trying to shame her for leaving relationships that are painful, disparaging, and downright damaging to her self-esteem. And for why? Are [Black] people so jaded about the status of women and their relationships that any ol’ man will do?
For the ladies out there who are complicit with this shit, you need to check yourselves and break out the barometer you use to measure your value of self, because your level of self-respect might need a tune-up. For the men who are, hell, I guess you’ll tell yourselves anything to keep your ridiculous egos intact and women “beneath” you. Y’all both need to find a way to do and be better.
As for Halle, I hope she keeps doing her. Fighting the good fight. Making women like myself proud. Dodging wrecking balls of relationships Indiana Jones-style and knowing when to say when and enough is enough. I know one thing for certain, and two for sure–Halle has gotten a couple things she wanted out of these relationships–Nahla and Maceo. And I ain’t mad.
*Editor’s Note: Since this article was initially published, David Justice felt the need to reconcile with the public that he isn’t responsible for Halle’s hearing loss (after all this time…imagine that) citing Wesley Snipes as the culprit. While I am elated that he isn’t responsible for her being partially deaf, David Justice hasn’t been relevant since he was married to Ms. Berry, so he needs to sat the fuck down somewhere.