Things I’m over: interlopers parading as upstanding, respectable men attempting to extol Ayesha Curry-influenced “virtue” in women that they themselves do not possess and are nowhere near rising up to meet.
I come across horrifically misogynistic comments online damn near daily when I forego intentionally shielding myself, but today they reached an all-time low when a young lady–barely legal R&B singer and songwriter, Kehlani–tried to take her life, clearly under the duress of reckless-a-s commentary from irresponsible social media hounds and trolls.
A picture of her phalanges intertwined with a supposed ex-boyfriend’s surfaced online, while she was allegedly dating another man. Needless to say, men (and, surprise!, women) dragged her for this purported cheating–and slut-shaming via double standards, which the media enables by politely referencing as “scrutiny”–and it became too overwhelming to bear.
We know, we know. The fine print is all too familiar. If more than one man ever benefits from the immeasurable goodness a woman has to offer–or God forbid–a woman benefits from what multiple men have to offer, she’s a heaux; she’s not loyal; blahblahblah.
Ironic, though, that Negro uprisings stir only when we as women decide to “do us”, or walk away from situations that no longer satiate, appease or excite us. Many times, trying to take what we earned in the process, or f-ck, just be unburdened and happy. Who cares if Vanessa wasn’t shootin’ with Kobe in the gym, Drakey Poo–she was at home taking care of the children they created together while his repeat offender, self-proclaimed serial cheating a-s was sexually assaulting a woman he later paid to stay quiet, while gleefully bedding others before and after, I’m sure. Yet, Vanessa isn’t entitled to a divorce, if only to preserve her sanity and ensure she’s not introduced to a lifetime prescription of Valtrex due to one’s extramarital affairs?
The exhibits are infinite: Amber Rose, Ciara, Blac Chyna, Kim Kardashian. These women are in the public eye, but that makes them no less valuable as women. As people. As human.
I don’t know what Kehlani was doing with Jahron or Kyrie; I don’t care. And here’s a word. Neither should you. She’s 20 YEARS OLD. What the hell were you doing when you were a mere two decades into your living spree? Dare I say, probably something fun, irresponsible and foolish. Or possibly criminal that guaranteed you jail time. Or perhaps a culmination of all of the above. You were definitely likely dating more than two people. And at the same damn time. Hell, I know I was. This child is living and finding herself. Leave her be. One needs to do and say nothing except send her well wishes of regaining mental and emotional stability and recovering speedily.
And while we’re on this topic, let’s delve a bit more beneath the surface, shall we?
As a man, predicating women’s collective value based upon what we wear and seeing/having knowledge of us with a man that is not you is Neanderthalian. Not to mention, said women are the same women you repeatedly and unflinchingly flail your merciless selves at in these streets without the mere exchange of words, or even eye contact, at times. This behavior alone makes you the modern day equivalent of the boy who cried wolf, and we don’t give a f-ck about your messy meanderings and crocodile tears. And the very fact that you are perfectly content outing your simple selves online makes our selection (or elimination) process that much easier. I’d like to believe that few women are taking you seriously. But some are, and their actual lives depend on it.
Relationships are symbiotic undertakings that have the propensity to fail or succeed based upon the cumulative actions of those involved, celebrity or living under a rock. Period.
But since everybody wants to wax poetic and play these king of introspection reindeer games, let’s, for the sake of argument.
Want to assume that Ayesha Curry types are the ideal women for you and your “squad”? Then by all means, please consider all of the following to properly complete this compelling narrative. Steph Curry is likely a man who adheres to Christian values and respects his wife as a Christian, God-fearing man should. Steph Curry provides for his family and doesn’t cheat on his wife with any other women, whatsoever, ever. Steph Curry’s children have a father who supports their financial well-being (ie, ain’t tryna dodge child support payments), in addition to ensuring their emotional well-being and mental stability are/remain intact because he understands it’s important for him to be present as a father, you know–a daily fixture in his children’s lives. He also provides physical security and is a place of respite for his family.
Am I describing you yet, or nah?
When your lopsided, deluded paradigm shifts to turn your dislike, disrespectfulness and disposal of women whom you (and other men) can no longer have on its head (and it will take a hell of an earthquake to make it so), and you magically morph into your best version of Steph, I’ll pick your number, do my best Bob Barker impression and invite you to crown your queen to be in full Coming to America glory.
Until then, please, please, PLEASE…shut the hell up and be mindful of Gandhi’s adage, Be the change you wish to see in the world. Become Steph Curry before you worry about finding your Ayesha, bruh (and continue shamelessly about the earth casting judgment upon the women of the world).